I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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