Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize