BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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