a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
