ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
