The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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