I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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