absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize