Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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