I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
