At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This house was built for laser tag.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
