how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
