Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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