i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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