Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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