In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize