dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
