you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
