she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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