There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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