How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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