took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
