I'm really into asian looking animals
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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