too bad you live with your parents still
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So many bounce houses so little time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize