Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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