you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
