I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
