you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dick very happy bro
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
