Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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