party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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