You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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