I could have mohawked her pubes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
