Its about making memories worth repressing
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
