READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
