I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
