I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
