your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
