i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need moral support for this bender
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
