I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
