you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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