Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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