I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize