youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
