you traded sex for a burrito?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
