white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
