True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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