Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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