I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
