i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
