When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
