Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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