Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
