This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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