so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
