yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
