All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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