Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what day is it and did you see me today?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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