apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
