hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize