remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
