He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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