and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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