have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
