everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
